Beauty from Ashes

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Recently I have been struggling with jealously, anger, and loving myself. I was consumed and controlled by the enemy. I was living for male attention, selling myself when necessary to feel loved. I was heartbroken and gave a year of my life to a guy even though he didn’t care whether I breathed or not. (We were only friends with benefits for a few weeks) Everything I did was with him in the back of my mind. Then, I dated a guy to try to get over the first guy. That just brought me down further as I hated myself for hurting my boyfriend, now ex. About a month ago, a different guy started talking to me. We ended up hooking up for an afternoon, and I happened to catch feelings for him. We hooked up again then, however he got back with his ex-girlfriend which tore me apart. In the midst of that, another guy came along who was a friend with the first. We only made out but then he stopped talking to me. I’’ve had sex with 2 guys. All this just took me down. I don’’t regret doing it though, but how I got to that point and how I gave everything I had were hard realities. Just the other week I thought about cutting myself while doing the dishes and make it look like an accident if my parents asked because of these guys always leaving me. I felt alone. My friends were never supportive and they didn’’t care about me. I never contemplated killing myself but that little dishes incident crossed my mind. Thankfully I didn’’t. I couldn’’t remember the last time I was happy. Life was rough and I wanted to get more Jesus but knew there was things I wasn’’t ready to surrender and that it wouldn’’t be genuine.

Then, Sunday happened.

My life is now His. I cried the entire service. Brian had us stand up and he started to pray. I couldn’’t stand and I just wept. I confessed my heart to God, and then I managed to go up front. I again met the floor because He is so good and just took me in His love and mercy. I lay in a ball and cried while the only thing in my mind was “Father”. After a while of that I smiled because my friend had said she had a vision of me in that position wrapped in His love or something and finally, after months of hell, I had peace. Eventually I managed to sit up which made me feel light headed and like I was going to puke. While balled up, my left hand tingled then went numb. After getting off the floor, Mr. Yost prayed for me, and without telling him what was going on I felt like he knew anyways because of what he said. And yet another time, I met the floor. It was soooo good, God is so good and He came when I was bankrupt. Mr. Yost gave me the advice I was always looking for–how to deal with the voice of the enemy. Sing and praise God. That’’s paraphrased but true. Time and time again the enemy has stolen the seeds I was given but this time I REFUSE to let him have it. This one is forever mine. I’’ve seen what it’’s like without God in my life and it is a place I never want to be again. By the grace of God I made it out alive. I feel so free now and happy. Emotions no longer will control my life. This is where I take a stand! #TeamJesus

Submitted by Cayla


Encouraging Visions

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Lately during worship, I have been seeing crazy visions. God is often showing me certain people with crowns set on their heads with certain gemstones which symbolize different things. He has also been showing me the aurora borealis lights entangled with gold dust and them representing His glory. Also during worship I have been in Heaven with the Father in a deep place where amazing things are going on, I can’t even explain what all I have seen but it is just so GOOD! This is a new and refreshing level to me, as he shows me encouraging visions for people around me.

Submitted by Brittany Bear

Dancing Flames and Papa’s Eyes

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Wow! What a sweet experience on Saturday afternoon at Modeling Communion. I would encourage anyone to come. I want to share what I experienced.

I saw dancing flames! They moved closer to me, then receded. They flared up, then exploded. They were individual, then joined together. They were bright, but not difficult to look upon. I don’t know if this was the Holy Spirit or Papa’s passion for me or His love. Maybe all three! Then, amidst the flames dancing, I saw Papa’s eyes. Especially His left eye, as we were nose to nose. He just looked into me and never wavered. He didn’t blink. I could still see the flames dancing all about us. His eye was so warm and kind. I could not look away had I wanted to do so. His eyes are the deepest of browns, not quite black, speckled with gold! Reflecting the flames dancing around us, His eyes had a life of their own. Almost as if the iris was moving and changing as I stared back. Papa wants me to know the joy He has when He stares at me. The love and excitement He had at the beginning of time when He thought to make Robin! He wants me to share that love and joy with Him and my Brother, Yesu and the Holy Spirit.

I came home and drew what I saw of my Papa. It is a poor representation, but I will never forget His eyes on me. Such love and tenderness.

Submitted by Robin


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On Friday nights, teens and young adults who are hungry to know more of God get together. Zach usually preaches (bless his heart, he is amazing and passionate) and then we play some worship music and pray for one another and just soak in the presence. This past Friday, one of the guys who comes brought 3 new friends and as soon as they walked in the room they were like, "Dude I can just feel something in this place, it is historic." I just smiled because I know the feeling. It is God’s presence in His simple beauty. As I was sitting listening to Zach speak, God started talking to me about one of the guys there. He was telling me that something was wrong with this young man’s dad. I said to God, "Tell me more,,," So He did. God continued to tell me that his dad was sick. I kept asking God for more information until I had gathered that his dad was sick, something serious, and something is wrong with his lungs. I was excited and nervous all at the same time to get this word. I often see or hear things for people and I am tired of keeping it to myself. So I wanted to tell the guy this word but then I stopped one more time to say to my Father, "What else should I say? I mean there is no hope in me just telling him that God knows his dad is sick…" Of course our Father, who is most faithful told me to tell the guy to pray for his dad everyday until he believes that he will be healed and then he will be healed, simple. After worship I just had to share, I couldn’t wait to say something. I was a little reluctant to be so specific but I wasn’t wasting my whole detailed conversation with God! I just started telling him what the Father was telling me in front of everyone and before I could even finish he had dropped to his knees, praying and praising God. He was in awe as he told us that his dad has been in the hospital for 2 weeks with pneumonia. Right then and there he just thanked God and recommitted to Him and getting to know him on a deeper level than ever before. He was spiritually awakened! Two of his friends just dropped to their knees, humbly praising God. It was such a beautiful moment. I also continued to speak what God had told me about someone’s mother and someone going to Saudi Arabia. At the end of the night I just felt so encouraged to tell others what God wants to say to them through prophecies and words of knowledge and I pray that I have more boldness to take this outside of the church walls!

Submitted by Brittany Bear


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About one month ago, I had the privilege to go to my old church (a Brethren church) and speak about who God is. They only allowed me to speak to the youth, but that was still alright with me. Personally, I feel that the youth often lead their parents to a new understanding. It was an awesome experience and I hope and pray that God would continue to use me to go into churches and clarify who God really is. The really cool part is that out of that teaching came a young man that I knew from that church when I attended. He was very interested in what I was talking about and wanted to learn more about what I know. He was also utterly amazed at the transformation that had taken place in my life, considering he knew me before I became who I am now. As we were talking together out in the cold of the parking lot, I began to tell this young man about Poort. He was interested and decided to come. The first Friday he came, Poort had just undergone a big change. It was full of teaching and tons of worship and just time for each and every person to have intimate time with God. My friend from the Brethren church never experienced prayer or worship or teaching like this before. He was in awe. The next Friday he could not make it to Poort right away. We continued on with the new Poort of worship and teaching and as most everyone was leaving, in came my friend from my old church. At 9:50pm, my friend came running up the steps into the room just to worship for ten minutes. It ended up being way longer than ten minutes, praise God. We also had some awesome time to talk about the baptism of the Holy Spirit. He was amazed at that, and was concerned as to why he never heard of it before. The next Friday, my friend again came to Poort, on time, very excited and with friends. We had an awesome time and by the end of the night my Brethren friend was laying hands on a young man with pain for his healing. Thank you Father God that you allow us to show your light to the world in awesome ways.

Submitted by Zach Bear

A Heart of Gold

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Wednesday night we decided to go to church and to our surprise Brian was teaching. Not only was he teaching but he was teaching on baptism of the Holy Spirit. The teaching was awesome but after that the Spirit of the living God was encouraged in that place. Man did it supply liberally. So as I was laying on the floor I could do nothing other than ask God for more of His presence, a greater understanding. I put my arms up and I heard God say “plug into me and I will download into you.” I plugged my right hand in like I was putting each finger in an electrical outlet. I could feel a tingling coming up and out of each finger on my left hand. I kept saying more God, pour out, we will wait for you. Then I felt God’s hand on my chest right over my heart. This sounds strange for a minute but God took my heart out and held in His other hand another heart. He said, "This is My heart, a heart of love." Then He put this heart in my chest. Then he brought to my mind the verse that says “I advise for you to purchase from me gold refined by fire with no money.” How is that possible God? Trade. Trade in what you had before for pure refined gold. That’s what He was doing on Wednesday. He traded me my heart of selfish ambition for a heart of pure love. Thank you God. You are truly amazing.

Submitted by Zach Bear

“living on the inside, roaring like a lion…”

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After church my kids were singing "My God’s not dead He is surely alive, living on the inside roaring like a lion", then they roared. All day and night, sounds like heaven on earth. Thank you Jesus!!!!!!!! Then we talked about what religion was and why God was taken out of schools and everything else, but it could never be taken out of us. Choose to live what you already are and what you have received in the name of Jesus! Then we prayed for someone in school, and my daughter’s prayer was: "Jesus please help (so and so) to know he is a good boy and that you love him and that he will change." Wow! Praise God!

Submitted by Carlos Zapata

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